My Soul Knows

Lately I’ve been thinking about other women who have gone through this situation and have chosen to have an abortion.  This is not the path we have chosen, but only because of our relationship with Jesus Christ.

There was a time in my life that I would have had an abortion.  A short 6 months prior to becoming pregnant with Shaylea, I was such a mess that I would have not only considered an abortion,  I probably would have done it – just so that my life wasn’t interrupted.  I actually had considered, at that time in my life, that if I did become pregnant I could do it.

I understand being in such a place in life that it seems like that would make the best sense.  The reason may be completely selfish, as was mine years ago, or there may be other seemingly hopeless situations which abortion just seems like the right thing.  Whatever the scenario may be, although I have compassion for where you’re at, or where you’ve been, I really hope that you would stop and take time to consider what God may have in store.

Psalm 139 says,

“13For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.”

Can we stop right there for a minute?

I’ve taken comfort in this Word, His Word.  God formed our baby, He wove her.  He did.  God doesn’t mess up.  Let’s keep reading.

“14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.”

Does your soul know very well how wonderful it is that God has done this thing?  A soul abiding in this truth can stand firm when tough decisions come.  Decisions which the world might say make sense.  Decisions like aborting a baby formed by God Himself.
“15My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;”

Our baby girl is not exempt from this truth because she is not healthy.  The God of the universe and all that is in it has made her in secret. Wow.  I love the New King James Version which says,“You formed me in my inward parts, You covered me in my mother’s womb.” That has brought such comfort to my soul these past days.  He is covering her.  I love that.  I don’t have to worry when I know Christ is covering her.

And hear this.

“And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.”

God knows.  I don’t.  Peter doesn’t.  The doctors don’t.  But He knows.

No matter how terrible of a situation a child may be born into, He truly can use each babies life for good and for His glory.  I think God is bigger than the mess of this life.  I think God is better and that there is a better way in Him.

If your pregnant and you’ve found yourself in a messy situation, or in a situation out of your control and you’ve thought about terminating the pregnancy – please just take a few days and think about what His word says.  If you need outside counsel, please just consider going to a local Crisis Pregnancy Center, church or adoption agency.

And finally if you’ve had already had an abortion, please know there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).  Just run to Him – He is still able to fix your mess.  That my soul knows very well.

If you don’t know where to start, I would be glad to help you in any way I can.  You can contact me at brooke_ancil@bellsouth.net

If you live in Hopkinsville, KY you can visit Alpha Alternative Crisis Pregnancy Center.

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One Response to My Soul Knows

  1. Patti says:

    What a powerful reminder that our God can love us through whatever sins are part of our lives! The God that conquered death chooses to love us in spite of who we are and what we have done. What peace can be ours because of that!

    Just as God covers little Haddie Joy in your womb, He knew these days would come for you when I carried you in mine. What a wondrous thing it is to consider that! Our omniscient God knew even then where our life journey would take us! He knew what mistakes I would make as a wife and mother. He knew what wrong turns you would make as a young girl. He knew all that and still lavished His love on us! I am amazed by that!

    All of these things you write of require us to to accept that what God wants for His world is vastly more important than what we want for His world. I pray I can live a life that demonstrates that.

    Love you, Mom.

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