Holding on to Peter – that’s how I made it to sunrise.
I cried out to the Lord, “I need You.” Sometimes I can’t even battle the fears, I just have to cry out. I rolled over and there lay next to me the most wonderful creature. The one whom God has called me to walk this valley alongside. I took my index finger and tapped ever so gently, hoping he too lay awake. He didn’t stir. I whispered, barely audible, “Are you awake?” Again, there was nothing. He was asleep.
I know he would’ve awakened if I needed him to. Just knowing that kept me from forcing him from his slumber. It was enough to snugly wrap my arm around him, embracing all that he is to me and cry. I thank God for him. I don’t deserve such a blessing.
Every time he holds me, or puts his hand to my belly he communicates such adoration to me that time seems to stand still. I find myself deeply satisfied in the midst of all the other emotions I may be sinking in, suddenly safe and at ease with nothing to do but accept. Accept the love of the Father so relentlessly expressed through this one being. This one man has found it in himself to shower the love of Jesus Christ upon me in ways which are sometimes a mystery. I know God here in this place. I know His love. It has to be the way Christ loves us, His bride, because it is so good. It’s like we have a secret together, which no one else can share in. A secret in this valley place. It’s the privilege of knowing God, together. Knowing Him here is breathtaking. It is beyond words. Even in the depths of sadness I get to know Him and share it with him, my husband. Thanks be to God Almighty, for His mercy endures forever. Amen.