Telling the Kids

Many of you have asked how much the kids know.  The truth is, they know everything.  Our kids are 15, 12, and 9 1/2.  They are all very bright, and we really felt like withholding information about our situation from them was unnecessary.  We feel like this is part of preparing them for whatever may come.

The night after the boys arrived we all sat down in the living room and Peter brought them up to date.  He started by saying, “We have some really great news and some really bad news.”  We chose not to show them the ultrasound pictures right away.

We described medically what was happening, repeating much of what Doctor E had shared.  They were pretty quiet and really only had a few questions.  Ethan’s question was very scientific, asking if it was a nervous system problem or something else I can’t even remember.  Shaylea asked if the baby would be able to walk.  We didn’t know the answer to either of these questions.  We find ourselves saying, “I don’t know” a lot these days.

As these next few days past I found myself wanting to scold their excitement, wanting to keep their “feet on the ground”.  But God gently reminded me that their child-like faith was something to watch and learn.

Ethan has really been very quiet about it all, much like Peter is.  He has shared with insight some profound thoughts though, such as, “You never know, our baby might help the doctors find a cure.”  I love that he thinks this way.  He has been a source of great help to me this summer.  He has been doing a lot of baking and I’m not sure he knows how much of a blessing that is to me, but it has been a joy.

Shaylea has been a whirlwind of excitement but we wanted to make sure she understood the outcome might not be what we desire so we painted a few different scenarios to help her understand.  She decided we would love the baby no matter what it is like, but she is praying God might heal he or she, as we all are.  Frankly she just wants the baby to live.  She often asks if the baby is going to die.  I have to tell her I just don’t know, but whatever happens we know God knows what is best and we can trust Him.  She often shares with people wherever we are that I am pregnant and what our situation is.  I’ve had comments that allude that this may embarrass me – but it doesn’t in the least.  I know this is partly how she is coping.  And to me, it can be an opportunity to share our faith – making it all of worth.

Alex’s understanding of what might come is greater.  I’ve watched him deal with the reality of what this may mean for him and it is so neat how he is trying to give it all to God and learn from it all.

I will say this, these special children of ours have definitely been strength and blessings to us through everything, especially to me, showing me great tenderness and love.  I’m so proud I have the privilege to be in their lives.  Our prayer is that God will use this to help us all grow in accordance with His will and closer to one another learning whatever lessons He wants us to.

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